Feels like minus twenty

(This is a Bloo emailer I just sent out. Bloo is a elitist clique I and a few others run at UofM; so a lot of the text here is pointless to most people reading this, including Bloo members. Just thought I’d put it up for public consumption as well)

Feels like minus twenty

Just thought of sending out a “Yo, wassup” email, since I have a presentation tomorrow that counts towards 50% of my grade in that course, and I feel like wasting my precious hours doing something futile. One day I’ll figure out the cause of this suicidal tendency of mine. Till then, you can peruse some truths:

1. They put Cocaine in Orange Chicken. I’m telling you.

2. Orange Chicken is best when there’s only a bit of it left in the container. That way, it’s been there for a while, the flavor has seeped in and stuff. Fresh OC is rather pointless; you could have had chicken pakoda in imli chutney instead.

3. MDX, or Mountain Dew eXtreme, available at Ugo’s is not a bad drink at all. There’s a girl who buys this drink often; she’s quite pretty, in my view.

4. Speaking of pretty girls; that abhorrent construction in front of Pierpont is an Arts and Drama center. Arts and Drama, as we all know, means pretty girls. In other words, bear the noise / dust, kids. It’s (eventually) good for you.

5. The CSE CAEN labs are pretty spiffy, ya know. Where else would you find whiteboard grafitti that says “Happy Valentine’s Day” in Devnagari? (and then someone added Persian). And someone even wrote “Thanda MATLAB Coca Cola”. Geeks, I tell you.

6. I once asked for a “Medium Mocha without Milk” at Mujos, and got a severe mocking from the barista there. You see, a Mocha is a Latte, which by definition is a milk laced coffee. So, if you ever want something that’s strong, nice and has a strong hint of chocolate that makes you go vrooom; ask for a “Double Espresso with Chocolate Syrup, no sugar”. Sexiest thing I’ve had between my lips in the last few months. Sexiest thing under 3 dollars, that is.

7. Now that you’ve read all this, all I can say is, dude, what?! You think that midterm will take care of itself? Go and study!

Pray for me,

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