poetry

Brim

Standing by, watching sighs
Escape from passersby
Feelings collect, rise up, and in a while
reflect, give up, and run dry.

One day the brim will mean something.
Till then, we’ll survive.

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incurrence

I did not plan it this way.
I did not choose to inflict this
upon myself, upon you, upon this world.
But the symptoms are clear.
My mind is calm.
My heart is peaceful.
My being has purpose.
Call it what you may
While you may have taught me how to see this world
I still see it differently.
While my existence is for you and because of you
Your flaws are still your flaws.
They do not transform from what they are
into magical axioms that I am meant to live by.
My truths are different from yours.
My thoughts are still mine.
One would think that a lifetime of knowing them would help
in understanding them.
This disease as you call it,
I wish you could see it from here.
I wish you could see how this invasion is anything but.
I wish you could see beyond the veils;
Understand. Appreciate.
Discover how this ailment is actually
A cure for impediments you chose to live by.
Realize how this path I take
Is the one you once wished for me
and that its culmination is in fact what you desire.

I did not choose this incurrence.
But it is how I will defend your legacy.

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enough

No, you change the way you talk to me
I don’t care what you think or what you see in me
I’m done with your logic, “truths” and philosophy
I think it’s time you own up to your hypocrisy

Has it ever occurred to you that you might be wrong
that your drivel disgusts me but you go on and on
I’m not the one who needs the saving:
it’s not my friends, it’s you who’s depraving

I don’t care how and with what you justify
there are some things that you just can never hide
your scheming ways need to be laid to rest
you want ME to be sorry? it’s time YOU confessed.

You jumped the gun, and you took your turn, so
Go ahead beg mercy, go look for someone
to save you. But they’re probably parade you
in front of their kin, their near-to-heart
to show them how bad it gets
to exemplify what vilification begets

you’re probably beyond recognition now
stupidity has trapped you in its shroud
your conscience is now a battered sieve
that mind of yours has ceased to live

may this world be spared from your insanity
i hope some part of you faces reality
and looks it in the face to see
the monster you have come to be.

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horizon surge

Almost flat, this land below
I deliberate, if I should go
spiralling down with insanity
as if to spar with gravity.

The rocks on the cliff I stand upon
crumble, roll and fall
I wonder if this was their fate
or just a symptom of it all:

the mediocrity, a lack of fire,
inexplicable thirst, a flaming desire.
the wanton, sated, ignorance,
a rotting state of impotence.

Get out of my way, crumbled stone!
I have lands left to explore
the more you try to impede
i will wisen even more

the more you try to bring me down
to the levels you lie upon,
the more you try to sabotage,
the more desire I will spawn

To leave you behind, in the dust
I am meant for greater things
Horizon surge, I beckon you
I have dreamed one day I’ll win

This world is mine, from this point on
to as far as can be seen
Now is the time, this is my moment:
My turn to reign supreme.

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lyricist

so i
walked around
the crowded conclave of
these markets and people
and i
was so lost
about where those notes
were coming from and
who made that music
that had touched and then frozen
my sense of direction
in a
moment of perfection
i was so lost
when i saw
your fingers
strumming so gently
six strings in those patterns
that made me stand still
for a moment or two
or a million, i would never know
for i
was so lost.

here i was
spending my time seeking spirit
lending my life towards yearning
for a reason to breathe
looking for a hunger to appease

and there you were
sitting
with a calm up on your face
lips, silent
fingers, manipulating
strings of lonely hearts
tearing them apart
one by one.

i’m sure there is a reason
for each day in every season
to be spent in the hope of
some goal that
i can only wish
that one day you will find
but for now
i hope you do not mind, if
i could sit with you all day long
writing lyrics to your songs
like this one.

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unsent

I meant to write a thank you note
for something you said last year
I wrote it out, then thought a bit
and tore it up, in fear

that maybe my words of indebtedness
may somehow be misconstrued
as frivolous attempts to reopen books
of our life that you’d rather exclude

from memories, thoughts and sentiments
that you live your life by now
some framed, some talked of, some celebrated
some quietly disavowed

so here’s to every thought around the world
that failed to reach a heart
one can only hope, and idealize
that they have a counterpart.

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violated

you look nice
there seems to be a glow i cannot place
i dont want to know how your weekend went
or what they did to you
but you seem more full of life
you feel… different
touching you was easier on the fingers before
i’m not sure if i like it this way
or if i will get used to this
but i am happy you’re better and with me now
i was worried i’d lost you entirely
i’m just glad you were covered under AppleCare.

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The Fuzzy Threshold Problem

this one is for all you Cake fans

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ventage

(lyrics in progress, mostly to prove i ‘nuj i can spew spite on demand. don’t worry, i’m perfectly ok :) )

Tongue-twisted, flabbergasted
Frustrated, no control
mind afire, shattered pieces
a bruised and battered soul

that’s what you did
you killed the flame
you slit the veins, now
you take the blame

my deeds are not my doing
if you consider this
my death was by your thoughts
and your affected bliss

i create, you consume
you repress, i resume
i extinguish, you exhume
yet you profess that i presume?

you dress like you’re perfect
you drink like you’re flawed
you spend every breath in
a yearning for applause

(i’m writing about 1 verse an hour in between coding, let’s see how this goes :) )

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crush

a smile crept up
on his weary face
as his fingers uncovered
his favorite album
from years ago

the songs, reminiscent
of times when he dreamt
of things bigger than reality
a life, bigger than life
with more passion than could fill his heart

the songs, reminiscent
of times when he dreamt
of plans to rule the world
of plans, to rule a heart:
and of love, and the endless years ahead

a smile crept up
on his weary face
as his fingers uncovered
his favorite album
from years ago, thinking of

the dreams, injected with maturity, shattered by time
the life, embittered by reality
the love, disillusioned, and scoffed at by circumstance

a smile crept up, acknowledging
the dreams, the love, the life, the pain and
the irony that
the very songs that take him back to
the very best of his memories
remind him of his worst

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