Inaction

He sat there staring at a blank terminal screen. He tried to remember exactly what it was that he was going to do next.

“Wow, this Twitter and Facebook habit has totally eliminated my ability to concentrate,” he thought.

Instinctively looking at the clock, he was alarmed at what time it was.

“2:31am… Wow, It’s tomorrow now… November 28th. Hmm.”

He smiled at the embarrassing memories. He remembered looking at the lone curled lock of hair that used to hang from the side of her forehead; the ill-fitting skirt; the smile. He remembered having conversations with her and getting distracted by the cuteness of her ever so slightly snubbed nose. He remembered being the new boy.

1997 was a confusing year. A new city, a new school, a new set of friends. The itinerant lifestyle had made it easier to compartmentalize relationships with people. It wasn’t something he preferred. Someone once had quipped that children of IAS officers were successful in life because of their ability to make friends quickly, and he had accepted that as a commiseration.

“A quick log in into the social networks I guess…”.

It had become a habit — any empty moment was occupied by “socializing” with a website. At least he had an excuse this time.

“Dear Julie, wish you a very Happy Birthday! Hope “ he wrote.

Backspace.

“Dear Julie, wish you a very Happy Birthday!”

It was 4 years since he’d broken up with her. It was painful but amicable; and they’d both moved on since. They had been great friends once, and they stayed friends since. The breakup left him in a strange place where he wasn’t quite sure exactly how much affection is too much. Especially on a Facebook wall. Better safe than sorry, he guessed.

He met Julie at a party in the first year of college. Common t-shirt colors led to a conversation about what else was in common. Not a lot, just states where they grew up, Zodiac signs and an uncanny interest in Lucky Ali. He liked her from the first time he met her, but he remembered her because of the irony in her birthdate. It was exactly the same as Divya’s.

“…Sharma. Divya Sharma. Roll Number 32” he remembered, revisiting a seldom-visited corner of his memories. Those memories were forgotten for good reason. Unlike college, which was a blast, he didn’t quite liked it when he joined Crescent Public.

The new high school was an absurdity. He had never met a bunch of more cacophonous kids before. Maybe this is a culture thing, but he’d much rather go back to his well-behaved alma-mater back in Bokaro. And somehow it seemed she knew exactly what he was thinking.

“You’ll get used to it. We’re not all that bad.”

“Well, I…”

“I’m Divya, by the way.”

He quickly found out that she was right. It was loud, but most of the kids were alright. More importantly, he had his first interaction with someone at school, and it was Divya. Amidst all the newness, he desperately needed some sense of familiarity, some sense of closeness. And when he found none, Divya became an easy substitute, even if she was that girl who sat in front of him and sometimes said Hi during break, even if he couldn’t come up with a single word to respond with. Weeks go by quickly when you have a pile of unfamiliar homework and a cute little puppy crush. And then one day Dad walks into the study room.

“Son, we have some good news. Mom mentioned how you were having trouble fitting in at your current school. We talked to the folks at this other school we think you’ll really like. I know it’s 3 weeks into the school year, but they’re willing to let you join.”

Lather Rinse Repeat. New uniform, new school bus, new school anthem that he would have to mumble through pretending to know the words.

The new school turned out to be yet another experience. It was still different from the Jesuit education imparted to him over the last 10 years and 4 schools, but he quickly found himself making a connection with the place. New interests were kindled, new friends were made, life went on.

And yet, the ponderous doodle on his notebook still said “Divya”. With a dot repeatedly penciled in so many times that it made a hole into the next page. It had been 3 months. He had new friends now! November 28th came by, he had astronomy camp at school that night. While everyone laid there on the school ground looking at the stars, he lay there thinking about parallel universes.

“#[Share]#” “Your wall message has been posted.”

“Hmm. I wonder where she is now….” he murmured as he typed in “Divya Sharma” into the search box. “There’s probably a million of them, hope I don’t have to wade through this for hours.”

Five minutes later, he was staring at the profile picture of the Divya Sharma he knew, with the same nose and the very same dangling lock of hair. In her wedding dress, with her new husband.

He smiled and stared at the browser window for a while. He clicked the “Request as friend” button, and began writing an introductory message. For some reason, the words after “Hey! Is this the Divya Sharma from Crescent Public School? Oh, btw, Happy Birthday!”

“Hey! Is this the Divya Sharma from Crescent Public School?”

“Hey!”

He smiled again, canceled the request and closed the browser window.

Some memories were best left untouched.

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What other people have to say:

Nice!!! :D

Awwww.
(Even though I refuse to get on to facebook etc)

Also – astronomy camp!

Just to be clear, mostly fiction. @Deepa, I don’t even know if we had astronomy camp.

hehe.. nice one

I like the end; and I can practically identify with this situation. I agree, sometimes some memories are better left untouched and some words better left unsaid. Life is so weird! :)

is this an excerpt from a book (that you are writing or is already been written).. this left me at a strange place where I didn’t want to go.. but if this is something you are planning to pen down, I assure you that I’ll buy a hardback version :)

Mostly fiction.
Ahem!

About the author:

Arnab Nandi is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Computer Science and Engineering at The Ohio State University. You can read more about him here.

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