Mr. GMail, you allow me to “star” emails in my spam folder. By star, I presume you mean that you stick a “This here email? It’s Important!” sign on that email. But I want to know, dear Mr. GMail, why is it that I want to importantify my spammicrap? Why, tell me?

Viagra! In easy installments! STARRED
Printer Cartridges! STARRED
Toner Cartridges! Not Starred. Weep weep. Spam is feeling low-self-esteem. Loosah!